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At Times We Sat In Silence

by Penelope Tree

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1.
Running Laps 03:59
You’re stood there in your torn skinny jeans yet somehow I look more of a mess. And now I’m itching just to take off your shirt and see which one of us bruises the best. I gave you all my self-respect to let you get inside my bed, don't punish me for being so brave. I open up and try to talk but with one finger you cut me off, 'cus nothing I could ever say would make this better anyway. We’ll stop moving when we can’t anymore and just lay there like deer in the road. Our breathings tight as we’re clinging to life. (is it right?) I'm just not sure it feels right. They say time waits for no man, but it can sure damn wait for me, 'cus all these moments are worth savouring. (So hold your breath ‘til you’re out of air) What kind of man would I be if I let these nights just pass me by? ‘cus They say time waits for no man, well it can sure damn wait for me! My will is getting weaker than your knees, that’s why I’ve been here every night this week. Wrapped up in your sheets, running laps in my dreams. I Wonder what it means subconsciously. They say time waits for no man, but it can sure damn wait for me, 'cus all these moments are worth savouring. (So hold your breath ‘til you’re out of air) What kind of man would I be if I let these nights just pass me by? ‘cus They say time waits for no man, well it can sure damn wait for me! It can sure damn what for me.
2.
I’ve been lacking in substance lately, I've grown too familiar with The smell of the sun-kissed concrete in the city that I’m in. I sold your artwork on the Internet, that canvas made me sick; The one with the hole in - of the blue & the pigeon - It’s distinctly in-different. I’ll count-up the plans I’ve had, make the most of my two hands, I’ll write down what’s making me thankful for life and scratch out what makes me mad. 'cus this has gone on for far too long. You know you’re not wrong, just too far gone. And it seems such a shame to let your talent go to waste, So I’ll keep it on the backseat with a bouquet just in case, I see your face in a crowded room, I can’t seem to shake all these thoughts of you. I’ll stand here forever, In John Cusack weather, asking myself: “Will she always remember me?” Been struggling lately, since I moved into my own place. I got out the centre of town, I never liked the nightlife anyway. Got vinyl’s still in boxes, I never had enough storage. I guess the baggage that you left me would never fit into this space. I’ll count up the plans I’ve had, make the most of my two hands. I’ll throw out the towel that you got me last year, It can’t wipe off a stain this bad. (I’ve Got Real Big Plans and I’m not running away…) I’ve got photographs from a decade ago I don’t think that I’ll burn them anytime soon, (I’ve Got real big plans!) I still remember the last thing you said when you were leaving: “Aren’t you tired of seeing my bedroom?” And it seems such a shame to let your talent go to waste, So I’ll keep it on the backseat with a bouquet just in case I see your face in a crowded room. I can’t seem to shake all this self-abuse. I’ll stand here forever, In John Cusack weather, asking myself: “Will she always remember me?”
3.
I’m not sure if I’m worth saving. Well who were you to talk me down, 'cus now you're nowhere to be found? And even though you cross my mind, every single Friday night, you're never coming back around. And I heard you told our friends that you don't think of me that much, And I rarely come up in conversation. I couldn't be the man that you needed I'm so understated and so damn conceited. And like that empty picture frame you've staring at for days, Can't hold on to a memory if you won't do the same. If this is just the past, I better let it pass me by. I’ll forgot the way you held me until I fell asleep And I don’t look at my old sweater & think it looked better on you than me. I don’t think about your family and what they think of me. And I don’t miss you like you’re coming back every single week. Some things you can’t forget, doesn’t do ‘em justice to regret. I held your hand like it was leaving, but this feeling hasn’t left me yet. You went from the reason I was quitting to the reason I smoke half a pack a day. And the ironic thing in that, is I never see anything through. But when you found strength in a cigarette, what could I do but to simply copy you? They tell me that Ghosts have no jurisdiction here, but they still haunt the same rooms you used to. And I’ll forget you, Or at least I’ll try to. I’ll forgot the way you held me until I fell asleep And I don’t look at my old sweater & think it looked better on you than me. I don’t think about your family and what they think of me. And I don’t miss you like you’re coming back every single week. And it's so damn vivid in my mind, The way you crinkle your nose when it's cold out But I sincerely don't remember how you take your coffee. I remember your favourite film but it takes me a whole 30 seconds to bring back your middle name. It's killing me to know small parts of what you meant to me are slipping away, 'cus may be fine but I'm filled with fear, every day, every week, every month and every fucking year.
4.
Upstairs 04:03
Well I’m no good at goodbyes, but I’d sure liked to have one, instead of finding out from somebody else half of what had happened. I sat on the staircase and told myself it couldn’t be true, Sent 24 texts in a row, didn’t get one back from you. They say you stopped breathing, said you went in your sleep, Sounds kind of peaceful, hope it was as it seems. They asked If I’d like to see you and I just burst in to tears. How could I see someone so full of life and see them now so full of fear? So I turned away, never saw you again. I was just a kid, didn’t know how to deal with it, but I’ve learnt a lot since then. I heard that heaven’s got a position open For an Angel with some compassion and the intentions of a Saint. Well I hope that you get the gig 'cus God knows your right for it. I have to miss you everyday, at least I know you’re helping out upstairs. Tried to sing at your funeral, but I got too damn choked up, But I know you’d have loved me just enough to say that we’re family, and sing it back to me. I heard that heaven’s got a position open for an Angel with some compassion and the intentions of a Saint. Well I hope that you get the gig 'cus God knows your right for it. I have to miss you everyday, at least I know you’re helping out upstairs. I picture you with white wings and I see of you smiling. ‘Cus you were always an angel; I guess now it’s official.
5.
Traffics building up and I can barely see the headlights Lighting the way along the A45. I haven’t been home in weeks so it all seems nostalgic to me. And when I get there you’ll come running out with your arms open wide, Say it’s good to have me back. Ignoring the fact that it took something pretty miserable For me to spend the gas money to get here. You don’t question, you don’t probe, you don’t ask why I came back alone. I still send cash back in an envelope and love back in X’s and O’s. I feel pretty proud that somehow you don’t ask what you already know. And I'll catch up on all the local talk, all the lives that are “harder” than mine. But when you tell me about my old school friend, you don’t see the tears in my eyes. I’m not one for giving up, though the South Coast drives me Insane. I kind of feel calm for a second, but my thoughts all just appertain To the fact that I’m not where I wanna be, I’m miles from familiar skies. But I’ll never be one for just giving up or settling for just “Getting By”. I hear you crying in another room ‘cus you know that I’ll be gone in the morning. It’s okay Mum, It’s alright. I’ll still send love back in an envelope and you can still Iron my clothes. I’ll call once a week and you’ll just repeat the stories I already know. I’m just a kid overboard but a man overwhelmed. I’m just a kid overboard but a man overwhelmed. I’m just a kid overboard but a man overwhelmed. I’m just a kid overboard… Oh I’m just a kid. I’m not one for giving up ‘cus there’s got to be more for me here. And as my friends reach in to draw their blood I’ll lend them a listening ear. And I will drive southward at 4am To make sure they know that I’m here. I’ll let you in on a secret... I’m always here.

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released May 17, 2019

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Penelope Tree High Wycombe, UK

Drawing inspiration from common situations, Penelope Tree aim to capture the mature side of Pop-Punk that is both meaningful and relatable. Hailing from Buckinghamshire, the quartet formed in the latter stages of 2015, and since then have worked tirelessly to create songs that en-capture what it really means to be young but getting older. ... more

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